.SMJ aka Burrby.
The first guy that I ever said 'I love you' to and meant it...and the first one to ever say it back. There is no way that I could ever give a full detail of what this man means to me or of our background either. But here is my attempt:
OUR STORY:
we met online the summer before my sophomore year in college. what started off as innocent chat-room and instant message conversations led to so much more. phone conversations - friendship - romance - love - he became the one person that i wanted to reach out to when life took bad turns. he was my relief, my calm after the storm. tolerant of my flaws and attitude, he really was. he saw me grow into different people. even with the distance between us, he always managed to be 'there'. when i was young, i used to give up on myself all of the time. but he never gave up on me - always pulling me back from the cliff. i loved him. would have and still would give all i have for him. but things went bad. the distance created frustration and eventually doubt as we realized that we would probably never get the chance to meet. we became cruel to each other. considering other 'partners and lovers' and not respecting our love for each other. because we lost sight of it. one thing led to another and we ended us. its been about two years, i believe, since we've spoken-at least one year because we haven't spoken at all since i have been in Chicago. i saw him on facebook - a comment that he made on one of my pictures from 2009 and went to his profile. i looked at him, and i realized that we are so much older now than we were when we first met. we both have changed so much...i want to salvage our friendship (no matter who was wrong). i do love him - i don't know in what way anymore - but i do love him. i reached out to him and he responded. he said that he is glad that i didn't let our past stop me from reaching out to him and that we have a lot of catching up to do. he left me his number and signed it with 'when you're ready Burrby (his nickname for me)'. i am afraid that when we talk, he will see how different i am - that he will see not only the maturity but the bitterness that's settled in me. im afraid that these things will make him appreciate the fact that i am no longer in his life....note:this blog below was actually about him
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Just A Thought
