I've been in my feelings lately so I havent been in the mood to journal. I dont have to say what the problem is, I'm sure its evident from my last post.
We talked today and I think we have a better understanding of how we both feel about each other and the situation. He wants to be friends right now but still likes me. He says its possible that we can be on that level with time, but right now its not a possibility. I dont know how he thinks this is supposed to work when he admits that he can read my affection for him all over my face. The only way I can do this is to emotionally remove myself from him altogether and pretend he is just a friend. But I have never been able to do that without being emotionally involved with someone else-a "distraction," in so many words. Not to mention, once I emotionally detach myself from someone...its hard for me to get back on a romantic level with them again. I'll play his game because I want him in my life, but I know this ending all too well.
We'll hang out as friends and I'll eventually losen up and stop showing affection and he will start to like me again. He will be happy with how things are going and with where things are going, but I'll be looking at him as a friend since thats all we will be acting like. While he is catching feelings, I'll be losing them because I will be feeling unloved. So I'm going to have to sit here and play the "dont call him, wait til he calls me" game and let him run the show until I become disinterested from a lack of attention. Watch.
