My mood just did a heavy swing and I'm not feeling happy at all. For the second night in a row, the events/parties that me and my company were to attend, did not kick off. We ended up in the car, waiting, and then back at my apartment. I always feel like crap when I cant show visitors a good time. I don't want anyone to come here and regret being here. He promises me that that isn't the case but I cant help but to think he's trying to be nice. The cats are of course irritating him but he is taking it rather well; better than most people, and he actually has a genuine allergy toward them.
Shanell is getting married in August. I know I don't mention her often but that's my oldest bff. The one that I knew before I actually knew myself. There are no words to express how happy I am that she's finally with someone that she feels she can spend her life with; especially considering how much BS we dealt with growing up. She asked me to be in her wedding. I would rather shoot her wedding though. I think its more special to capture her moments for her than to be in the actual wedding. Of course no one would agree with me. Being in her wedding means commuting non-stop to Saint Louis so that I can be present for rehearsals and things. I do not have the time nor the vacation time to do that. I have 2 jobs for christ's sake and I'm not in the position to take off of either one. I don't know what I'm going to do. Not to mention, I'm so detached from people in my past...I don't know if I even belong in her wedding.
