I've been away for a while...in the company of the one person that I said I would never deal with again. -shrugs- Go figure. Being around him was fun and it felt good...but unfortunately, one good weekend cant make up for the feelings brought on by a near month of rejection. No matter how much I like him, I just feel alone and tired right now...tired and weighed down...with no support. And when I needed someone the most, he wasnt emotionally able to be there for me the way that I needed him too because he was so fed up with me.
I dont know what Im going through right now...I feel out of place. I dont feel like I have a home anymore. And I'm starting to miss things that I shouldnt miss...and starting to think about people that I shouldnt be thinking about. I need a day to myself or a day with someone who can concentrate on me with me. At this point, I dont give a shit who it is as long as its someone from home who knows me. Im thinking about taking a trip home next weekend to exhale in familiar territory. I'm just afraid that if I leave, I wont have the courage to come back. I have a feeling that this week is about to be a bad one.
