waiting

im watching this movie on netflix (broken hill) about this boy who is in love with music...so in love that he can hear music when its not even playing-from the wind, the trees, the birds. he gets in a little trouble and ends up having to do community service at this jail wheere he makes a band out of prisoners. dude is amazing.  if this movie isnt worth watching for the plot itself, then just seeing the outcome of a jail turned orchestra is reason enough.  its ridiculous how amazing they are.  anyway, it made me think. he has a passion so big that he is doing something bigger than himself with it. i want that. i want a passion so big and so natural that i can do things bigger than myself with it.  what is my gift?

things that i miss

i miss sitting next to someone, walking with someone...for months...without our lips ever touching.  i miss anticipating a kiss.  everything moves so fast now. theres nothing to look forward to. i think that i would be willing to put an end to life today if i could go back and relive the past 10 years all over again.  that would sincerely be enough for me.

Heartbroken

I'm single again. It lasted 3 days and he dissapeared. Now my heart is broken and I'm stressed out a bit with this new job. I love my new coworkers though. But I'm starting to feel like I'm not going to do good at this job. I'm homesick again. So bad. I miss seeing certain people. Xavier broke my heart.....why couldn't he have just stayed away.